Wednesday, July 7, 2010


The first and most important rule of good manners is kindness and consideration to others. This rule never changes. The source of this rule is the Bible, and it is the second most important commandment next to loving God: "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself".

General Good Manners

* Think of the others first. (Phi 2:4-5, Rom 12:10)
* Be hospitable and friendly. (1 Pet 4:9, Rom 12:13, Prov 18:24)
* Always say, “Thank you” - this is a way of praising others and one of the keys of good manners; not forgetting “Excuse me”, “Please”, “You are welcome”, “Hello” and “Goodbye”. (Col 3:15, 1 The 5:18, 3 John 14)
* Do not be boastful, arrogant or loud. (Titus 1:8; 1 Cor 13:4-5)
* Listen before speaking. Never interrupt. Look people in the eye, and listen carefully. (James 1:19)
* Before speaking to others consider what effect your words will have. Don't say thoughtless, unkind things. Pause and weigh your words carefully and say them in the right manner. (Prov 15:23,12:25,25:11)
* Never whisper, as it makes the person who can't hear feel left out. (Psalm 41:7)
* Never point or stare, especially at people with disabilities or those who are “different”. (Phi 2:3, Rom 2:11)
* Be thankful and show appreciation for gifts, help, etc.(Col 3:15, Ephe 5:20)
* Give compliments - a fundamental rule of good manners is to give. (Acts 20:35)
* Be considerate and do not embarrass others - treat others as you would like to be treated, and think of how you can put them at ease. Never demean anyone with rude jokes or an unwelcome nickname. (1 Cor 13:4, Phi 2:4, Luke 10:27)
* Do not criticise or complain. Negativity in any form is to be avoided. If you hear gossip, don't join in, be indifferent to it. If you disagree with others, do so respectfully. Don't verbally attack or condemn them. (1 Cor 13:5-7, Phi 2:14, Ephe 4:29)
* Never be ruffled. Be a calming, happy influence in any stressful situation and maintain your composure. (Prov 16:32, Psalm 37:8)
* Respect people's time and be punctual. If you make an appointment, arrive on time or even a bit early. If you're going to be late, always call and let them know. (Ephe 5:16, Matt 5:37)
* When you give your word or promise something, then you must fulfill it. Your explanation as to WHY you cannot keep your promise must be perfectly acceptable and not due to your own fault. (James 5:12, Ecc 5:4-5)
* If you borrow something it should be treated more carefully than if it were your own. It should also be returned promptly and if possible in better-than-original condition. When someone lends you money and you owe it to return this loan, then NEVER forget or delay this payment back. (Deut 23:21)

In Public

* Be helpful. Open doors (regardless of gender). Men should always open doors for women. (Heb 13:16, 1 Pet 3:7)
* Do not ask too many intimate or invasive questions the first few times that you meet a person. (Phi 2:3)
* To strangers/new ones: Do not comment on personal appearances or clothes in a negative way; if you cannot say something complimentary, do not say anything at all. (Psalm 12:5, Prov 11:22)
* Don't address elders and seniors by their names, unless they have specially asked you to. Stand up when an elder or a guest enters the room and don't sit until you've offered them a seat. (1 Pet 5:5, Levi 19:32)
* If an elderly person enters a bus or train, the younger offers him/her a seat. (Levi 19:32)
* A man should always offer the woman to enter a room first. (1 Pet 3:7)
* At a restaurant/official dinner, the man moves the chair away from the table and offers the woman her seat. (1 Pet 3:7)
* Girls/women should always dress modestly. (1 Tim 2:9)
* Be involved in a variety of community service organisations. (Matt 5:16, Titus 2:14)

At Home

* Introduce guests to everyone in your home. (1 Pet 4:9)
* Offer something to drink (a glass of water, a cup of tea/coffee) to anyone who steps into your home. (Heb 13:2)
* Do not continue to watch TV or surf the net when you have a visitor.
* Wear clean clothes at home. (Gen 35:2, Levi 6:11)
* Children should learn at a young age to help in the household and take over responsibility. (Deut 6:7, Exod 20:12)
* Children should stand up when the father or older people enter the room. They do not remain seated, e.g. in front of a TV. They should also offer the best seats. (Col 3:20)
* Goodbyes should be short and cheerful when you are the guest. If you have guests, be with them when they are leaving, making their visit pleasant to the end. (Phi 2:3, 1 Pet 4:9)

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